


#588BAE

by JJHomes043



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Please read notes, References to Depression, Sleepovers, Trampolines, Winter, even know i cant eat them, haribos boiii, mark has bad days, mild suicide thought reference i guess, trampoline sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 21:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJHomes043/pseuds/JJHomes043
Summary: Mark is having a blue day and Donghyuck forces him into a trampoline sleepover, confessions happen.





	#588BAE

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so!
> 
> suicidal thought but not at the same time. more so thoughts of not wanting to be here. still fluffy tho.
> 
> this hasn't been thoroughly edited because i wanted to keep it kinda raw i guess? also the title comes from a shade of blue thats kinda grayish because i thought it'd be fitting. 
> 
> ive been having some bad days lately so i thought id turn my bad thoughts into some sort of writing. enjoy

Mark has days like this. Days where he feels like he's doing so little for the world, family and friends. He'll wake up in some sort of mood and he'll know that today is not going to be a good day. He calls them blue days. 

As if everything has been painted with a sheer dark blue, it's excitement and joy stripped and replaced with some sort of hollowness. . He used to wrap himself in a cover and spend the blue days alone, moping and hoping that it passes soon. 

Somehow Donghyuck has always been a part of his blue days. Mark swears he can sense it. He used to send Mark a message because he's been oddly quiet, or if they were out he'd become more calm and gentle, trying to nudge him out of it and sticking to Mark's side. 

So Mark isn't surprised when Donghyuck shows up at his door—his parents on a business trip and his brother out—at 7pm with two bags full of treats and blankets. 

"What are you doing here?" Mark asks, attempting to push his hair into some sort of presentable state. But it's no use when he's standing in the long baby blue pajamas his aunt had bought him. They're his blue day pajamas, beat up and just about ready to be scrapped. 

"Nice to see you too," Donghyuck teases, dropping one of the bags. Usually Mark's heart would leap in his chest because look! It's Donghyuck! But on days like this it remains still. "Man that's heavy. Now be a gentleman and help me in."

Mark lifts the other bag into the living room and perches on the arm of the couch. Before sitting beside Mark, Donghyuck removes his scuffed shoes and lines them up the way Mrs Lee likes them to be.

"We're going to have a trampoline sleepover. Could you bring all the covers and pillows you own downstairs?" Donghyuck says, sounding more like an order than a question but still keeping his voice gentle. Mark just nods and does as he's told. 

Fifteen minutes later and Donghyuck has set up their bed for the night. There's an obnoxious amount of pillows and blankets covering the 10 ft trampoline, creating a cosy looking bed. Mark states at it, jaw slack. 

With a backpack full of sweets and chocolate, both in a fresh set of new pajamas Donghyuck bought, Donghyuck takes Mark's hand and leads him to his creation. He throws on his bag before prompting Mark to get on. 

Mark slips under a blanket, propped up with some pillows. He's handed backs of sweets while Donghyuck fluffs up his own pillows. 

"You know," Donghyuck starts, now lying beside Mark, both staring at the star speckled sky while wrapped up in multiple blankets to fight the winter air. "It's not hard to tell when the blue days are coming. You get tense and quiet and it sucks seeing you slowly regress but I think it's good you have them because it might remind you how good the other aspects of life are."

Mark reaches for Donghyuck’s hand and tangles their fingers together. "Me too. They just get the best of me sometimes. Thank you for coming over."

"Anytime. You know I'd do anything for you."

The air becomes tense, the words Donghyuck spoke floating between them, taunting Mark. Mark had accepted his crush on Donghyuck years ago but now it all feels fresh and new. 

"You know what my blue day was about?" Whispers Mark, hating how his voice sounds vulnerable and shaky.

"What?" Donghyuck whispers back, turning on his side to give Mark his full attention. 

"I like this boy. I have for a while. I used to get blue days because I was supposed to be straight. But after accepting it I started thinking, am I good enough for this boy? Am I too boring for him? Too mean? And yesterday the boy messaged me a paragraph of how much he loves and appreciates me and it got me thinking and here we are."

When Donghyuck had sent him a text yesterday, his heart had melted. He'd almost cried because he rarely feels loved and in that moment it was so sudden. 

Donghyuck is quiet, eyes somewhere else. "What's he like?" 

"He's far from perfect. He's so loud and annoying sometimes but I love him so much and I would do anything for him too. He has the sweetest heart and would do anything for his friends," He finally turns his head to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. "He has big doe eyes, so pretty and welcoming. I just need to know if I'm good enough for him."

Donghyuck sighs, smile looking tense and a little forced. "You should tell him. He sounds nice. You're good enough for anyone, Minhyung."

Mark's eyes fall shut and his breathing steadies. He lets a quiet sigh fall past his lips before he opens his eyes again. Donghyuck is watching him intently, a warm smile on his lips.

"I'm serious," Donghyuck wiggles his fingers out from Mark's and places both his hands over his stomach. "You should tell him. Especially if it's causing blue days. And remember, if it doesn't go well, I'll be waiting with a handful of snacks and a sleepover, maybe a day out if I'm not poor."

This is why he fell for the boy. He's so encouraging and caring. Mark's heart aches a little at the idea of Donghyuck finding someone else to care for. 

"But will you?" Mark asks, fear seeping into his chest at the thought of losing Donghyuck because he's weirded out by Mark's crush. Maybe he'd stay his friend, just refuse to touch him and get too close, reverse their roles. Donghyuck has always been more touchy. 

"I always will. I don't care what you've done, even if you've murdered Jaemin or something, I'll always be here for you. I might be a bit mad because Jaemin’s alright but you get the point."

"Yeah," Mark trailed off. The trees rustled with a gust of cold air and Mark pulled the blanket around himself tighter. "Am I good enough?" 

"For me, yeah. More than enough actually. And if this boy can't see this then he's not good enough for you. That's what you should be asking yourself, is he good enough for you?"

Mark tangles their legs together and pulls Donghyuck closer to him. "Definitely. You're more than good enough."

Donghyuck keeps his eyes closed. It's silent as they both process Mark's words. "I'm not," he whispers. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?" 

Donghyuck opens one eye to watch Mark. He's on his side, smile small and eyes hopeful. "This. Me?" 

"Yes, you. You can't leave, you said you'd be there with snacks," Mark panics and his stomach seems to drop at the realisation that he probably just majorly fucked up. 

Without looking, Donghyuck reaches out and hands Mark a bag of haribos. "Here." His tone is dry and he's avoiding eye contact. 

And yeah. Major fuck up. Tears start to brim his eyes and huh. He never cries during blue days unless it's an extremely bad one. When he feels like he should leave everything and everyone behind because what purpose is he serving them. 

Steadily they seep into his mind. Like waves slowly covering the beach. You don't realise how close the tide is until you're up to your neck in salt water. 

He tries to remember what his therapist told him but he's drowning now and his mind switches into a dangerous state. He's not on the trampoline anymore beside his—probably ex—best friend, he doesn't know where he is but it's scary and he wants to scream. 

A hand lands on his shoulder and he's unable to stop the sobbing and the tears and the mess that he's making. He squeezes his eyes shut and he's back on the trampoline, Donghyuck has wrapped himself around him, murmuring words of reassurance. 

"Mark, it's okay," Donghyuck tries, pulling Mark fully into his lap and letting him use his shoulder as a headrest. Mark's breathing is fast, gasping for air. 

"It's not," Mark chokes out, "I don't even know why I confessed or why I'm still here. I want it all to end, Hyuck."

Donghyuck sniffs and oh no. "I know it's hard. But I'm so, so fucking proud of you for being here today and making it this far. You've done so much and you're yet to do so much. So promise me you'll live on? I really like you too Mark and we can do so much to make this life worth living so please, give it a shot. Give me a shot."

Mark knows that was meant to be a comforting speech and all but he just cries harder, clutching onto Donghyuck’s shirt. "You make it worth living for," Mark whispers once he's calmed down to break the silence and somehow this seems a lot bigger than telling Donghyuck he liked him. 

Donghyuck is no longer crying either, eyelashes just a little damp. They separate, Donghyuck smiling. "You too,." Donghyuck wipes Mark's tears away and kisses his cheek. "Let's make this one of our best trampoline sleepovers, yeah?" 

They wear matching grins as Donghyuck reaches out for his phone, he links it to the bluetooth speaker sitting at their feet and plays the album 'Bloom' by Troye Sivan at a low volume. The bag of haribos is ripped open and they start sorting them into piles—Mark eats the cola bottles and Donghyuck eats the hearts, the rest are shared. 

The ending notes of 'Seventeen' are fading out when Mark clears his throat, gathering Donghyuck’s attention. "So not Jaemin?" 

"Not Jaemin. Maybe Renjun," Donghyuck laughs and throws himself down, the trampoline bouncing. The younger lifts his hand and lets it travel to Mark's face, tracing his facial features. 

"Hyuckie, go on a date with me?" 

Donghyuck smiles sweetly and cups Mark's cheek. "I thought you'd never ask," He whispers before leaning in and connecting their lips in a gentle kiss. 

*-*

It's a blue day. Definitely a blue day. Mark's chest feels empty but his shoulders feel heavy with some invisible weight. Before his eyes can start to wet with tears, he grabs onto his boyfriend's arm and pulls him closer. 

Donghyuck grumbles in his sleep before wrapping his arms around Mark and cuddling him to his chest. It takes a moment, then Donghyuck peels his eyes open and blinks at Mark. 

"Blue day," Mark keeps his eyes closed and his grip on Donghyuck tight, as if he was about to disappear. 

Donghyuck has always been apart of Mark's blue days. He knew what to do and how to make them even the tiniest bit better. Luckily blue days were less draining. They were no longer over the boy he loved, who was holding him incredibly tight, but over work and the build up of stress. 

And Mark couldn't be happier– well. If he thought about it too much, yeah he could be living an easier life but happier? No. As long as he had Donghyuck and their trampoline sleepovers, Mark couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, i hope u enjoyed that. if any of you are feeling suicidal or depressed please dont hesitate to talk to someone, even if its a stranger online. these things can really ruin someone.
> 
> im always open to talk to just message me on instagram @ncrackt or comment.
> 
> please leave kudos and a comment if you're feeling spicy (idk) and heres my  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/jjhomes043) for prompts and whatnot. 
> 
> anyways, stay safe and have a good night or day :)


End file.
